


Mental Hygiene

by perletwo



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, Post-Avengers (2012), Twin Peaks References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-24
Updated: 2015-10-24
Packaged: 2018-04-27 23:27:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5068978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perletwo/pseuds/perletwo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From <a href="http://otpprompts.tumblr.com/post/131827472533">otpprompts</a>: Imagine Person A in the position of Dale Cooper in the final scene of the season 2 finale of Twin Peaks. Person A is possessed by an entity of your choice, has slammed their forehead into the mirror and is laughing maniacally while asking repeatedly “How’s [Person B’s name]?”</p><p>Bonus points if Person B’s name is two syllables and ends in an “e” sound.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mental Hygiene

**Author's Note:**

> For those who don’t know the show, this is a rework of the final scene of the David Lynch TV series Twin Peaks, in which the stalwart Agent Cooper returns to his unconscious body after his spirit’s trial by fire to save the kidnapped soul of his true love Annie in the Black Lodge. You can see the scene [here](https://youtu.be/VMMoRyC9Eaw).

The Battle of New York was over.

 

The Chitauri hordes lay defeated in the city’s rubble, while the Avengers stood victorious.

 

But for some of his new comrades-at-arms, Thor realized as he watched Black Widow comfort a broken and holllow-eyed Hawkeye, the victory came at a terrible price.

**********

Thor hauled Loki bodily back onto a crippled and listing Helicarrier.

 

“I really don’t see what you expect me to _do_ about it, Brother,” Loki purred. “Death magicks are always costly. Most find it too high a price.”

“I care not what it costs you, _Brother_ ,” Thor snarled back. He dragged the sorceror-god to the med-pod bier that held Agent Coulson’s remains.“You did this. You robbed SHIELD of its standard-bearer, and you left a most able warrior and good man most deeply aggrieved. On behalf of my honored allies, you will set it to rights.”

 

Standing watch over Coulson, Nick Fury and Maria Hill looked up from the body at the Asgardians in surprise. 

 

“Very well,” Loki said with a shrug and a thin smile. “On your own head be it.”

 

He held both hands parallel to Coulson’s chest wound, closed his eyes and chanted under his breath. In moments, the wound began to glow faintly in the neon blue hue of the scepter that created it. The glow intensified, became almost blinding for an instant, then faded away.

 

“There. ‘Tis done.” Loki gave Thor his most innocent smile and held up his hands to be shackled. “Shall we go now?”

 

Thor nodded, and in an eyeblink the two Asgardians were gone.

**********

Fury and Hill stared after them, dazed and shocked, until a soft groan came from the metal table before them. They shook off the sunspots dancing before their eyes and turned their attention to their friend.

 

“Cheese?” Fury said, and gently helped his friend sit up? “Take it easy now. Slow and easy.”

 

Coulson’s gaze moved from one agent to the other. “How’s Hawkeye?”

 

“Good. He’s all good, Phil,” Fury replied.

 

“Agent Coulson? How are you feeling?” Hill asked.

 

Coulson looked down at himself, evaluated his condition.

 

“I need to brush my teeth.”

 

He rose stiffly and shouldered his way past Hill, making his way to the bathroom.

**********

Alone in the head, Coulson palmed a toothbrush, squeezed a dollop of toothpaste onto it. Kept squeezing. Raised his head to study himself in the mirror.

 

He tilted his head left, then right, then left again. Pulled his lips back to examine teeth set in a rictus.

 

A face not his own doubled his motions in the mirror.

 

He reared back and smashed his forehead into the glass.

 

“ _How’s Hawkeye?_ ” he crowed, and in the shattered mirror dozens of fractured Lokis cackled and echoed, “ _How’s Hawkeye?_ ”


End file.
